What’s not to love about spiders? Um. Everything. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, here is an article about all those spiders that want to share their life with you. The only problem is, they are the worst Valentine ever. Here are some of the reason “not” to love spiders.

They ignore you.

Would you give a Valentine to someone who ignores you? Of course you wouldn’t. But that is exactly what spiders do. They don’t even know you exist. All they think about all day long is bugs, bugs, bugs! Their food source consists of mostly insects, so they pay absolutely no attention to you.

They just come on in and make themselves at home.

How would you like a Valentine that waltzes into your home and puts his stuff everywhere? That’s what spiders do. They don’t ask if you’re okay with them throwing up a couple webs in the bathroom. What nerve! What unmitigated gaul! And, do you think they’re happy to do just that? No! They have to string those webs at face level across doorways. I’m sorry. That’s just rude.

They creep you out.

Do you really want a Valentine that creeps you out? It doesn’t matter how big or how small they are, spiders are creepy. In fact, the word creepy probably came from the fact that these bugs don’t just walk across the wall, they slowly lift each of their eight legs in a slow creeping manor. If the choice is to have a Valentine who still lives in his mother’s basement or one with eight legs and eight eyes I think the choice is fairly clear.

They wear your clothes.

Imagine coming into your room and finding your Valentine standing there wearing your clothes. How disturbing would that be? That’s what spiders do. Well, sort of. They climb into your shirts, your pants and a pair of shoes, faster than you can say hospital visit. The number one cause of poisonous spider bites is victims bringing those spiders into contact with their skin.

How about this Valentine’s Day you put out the unwelcome mat, tell those spiders you do not want to be their Valentine, and call a pest control company to have your home protected from household spiders and other invasive pests. Then you can curl up on the couch with your real Valentine and watch a nice movie without having to worry about spiders.